Au Revoir
The day after my birthday, consisted of old friends, Yesman, chickencobbsalad, and shoppingatsoho.
I thought a night of sleep would ease my pains, and it did, for the most part. But now that I’m awake with food in my belly, and thinking about getting ready for my internship, I’m starting to remember the feelings from last night. The tightening of my chest is repeating itself, and the heart beats are increasing. I feel like I know what is causing this but at the same time I don’t. I just don’t know what to think about anymore. Whenever I repeat the word “think” in my head, the rush of beats come and stay, lingering for a long while until I think of the word again or magically not think of this subject. I need to figure out what to do before I start drastic measures.
I think I finally placed a word on my irregular heart beats for the past 2-3 days, consecutively.
Anxiety.
I’ve never had it this bad before. I’m not really sure why it’s popping up at a time like this. But I can kinda link it to what might be causing it. And I don’t know how I feel about it. This crushing feeling in my chest and the fast heart rates are quite nerve wrecking. Even though it’s from stress, it’s causing me stress at the same time, freaking double whammy right there. I don’t know what to do. I just got really depressed all of a sudden, like really, all of a sudden aka an hour+ ago. This is starting to drive me nuts. I spoke to my sister about it before and she agrees that I really need to de-stress myself before I hurt myself. Lucky for her, I don’t cut myself, but relieve myself through “other” means. I mean it’s not real, what I feel when I get high, but that moment of artificial happiness, the aloof feeling, I feel like that’s the only place where my attacks can’t reach me. I can’t think like I do when I’m normal. I think too much and most definitely, that’s the number one cause of my attacks.
I’m writing out what I feel, but this isn’t nearly as what I feel currently. I don’t know what to put down but the fact that this choking feeling that it is giving me, makes me want to cry my heart out, which is quite rare since I don’t cry for anything (except for when my mother does her usual degrading rants). I can’t think straight. I feel some kind of inner heat imposing on my body. I feel like 10 pounds just got placed on my shoulders. I feel like I only have half a heart in me.
I don’t know what to do anymore. Life is tiring me out.
From a cultural perspective, this is fascinating. I love the way they compare their bodies with a natural curiosity, “this white girl’s boobs look funny.” (And they do, next to the other women! It’s funny the way how our societal expectancies even shape the way our bodies form.) And I like the way she’s playing with the black woman’s hair in the first photo, and the fourth, the same woman is tussling the white woman’s hair.
But most of all, it’s really cool that the white woman just went along with it. The openness and the laughing and the general sense of camaraderie really makes this photoset enjoyable to look at.
I honestly believe our breasts mould that way because we wear bras. Unhindered, our breasts would look like the african woman’s.
I love when two completely different cultures come together and can coexist.
Why is this so hard?!
This is actually really beautiful (if you don’t want to see a topless lady, don’t click).
(via raunchygoodness)
“There is an invisible war in Africa: one man, Joseph Kony, terrorizing 4 countries.” Kony is a Ugandan guerrilla group leader. He has abducted more than 30,000 children from their homes and has forced them to become children soldiers. Forcing them to kill their own parents and fight for him. He turns the young girls he kidnaps into sex slaves and the young boys into children soldiers. Kony is not supported by anyone nor is he fighting for a cause. He is just fighting and killing to maintain his power. Make this the year Kony is captured. Visit the site: http://www.kony2012.com/ and on March 5th, watch the documentary. Share it with your friends, family, anyone who is willing to watch. Wear the bracelets and don’t take them off until Dec. 31, 2012. Tell the 20 Culture Makers. Tell the 12 Policy Makers. Show them this is something you care about. If they care about it, then America cares about it. Make Joseph Kony famous!
I received an anonymous message asking me to reblog what I can to highlight this issue and the Invisible Children campaign, which is aimed at bringing an end to the use and suffering of innocent children, in Joseph Kony’s rebel war in Central Africa. How anybody, in good conscience, could refuse to reblog this important message, I do not know. I just want to encourage anyone and everyone, who is in a position to do so, to have their voice heard about this and to check out the website. Get yourself informed, if you’re not already. It’s a worthy cause and I hope you guys give this some reblogs.
(via sampakpak)
